5 Easy Steps To Dealing With Addiction

1. Seek counseling! 
Share your secrets with a trained professional before they begin to ruin your life. (Note: almost every Christian Church in the entire world has a free counselor you can talk with. They are not there to proselytize. They are there to help - and it's usually FREE)

2. Know that you are not alone.
Everyone is born with an addictive personality of some sort. In fact, the person you least expect is probably (secretly) addicted to the same thing you are. Everybody struggles. You are not alone.

3. Avoid situations where you might get tempted. 
If you struggle with alcohol. Avoid situations where alcohol might be served (this may also include certain restaurants, parties or family gatherings). If you struggle with too much TV or surfing the net, playing video games checking your cell phone. Designate certain times of the day / week where you will allow yourself liberty and stick to the schedule reducing each experience by a fraction until you've got it under control.

4. Be careful what you put in your spirit.  
This is a tricky one.  In an "Advertising-gone-wild" world where corporations are constantly trying to sell you everything under the sun, it's important to be careful what ad you give licence to enter your spirit. These ads are designed to be and could be, triggers. A friend of mine just confessed to a 10 year addiction to internet porn. He said his main drain (that thing that kept bringing him back into his addiction) was clicking on a hyperlink and being taken to some site designed to trigger an addictive element of our personality. He was constantly a gonner. Booze and sex are everywhere - that's why you'll hear me hang around this vice more than others.  We don't go looking for them. They keep finding us. When they do - get out! Avoid that hyperlink or thumbnail or put down whatever you're looking at. Your spirit is a weak thing and you're never as strong as you think you are (especially when you're already hooked). If you struggle with alcohol but you're on a site with dirty jokes and naked women know that it's not helping. Eventually you will find a site promoting alcohol and then you're a gonner (again). Be careful what you put in your spirit. Positivity begets positivity and negativity begets negativity. Again: be careful what you put in your spirit.

5. Repair your relationship with God.  
This should be number 1 but I made it number 5 because it's the final word in healing. When you remove God from your heart the void that gets left over requires filling with something. God gave us an addictive personality so we can be addicted to Him - which means a life of satisfaction, happiness, goodness, peace, prosperity and love. Take God out and invariably the void will be filled with anger, restlessness, frustration, drugs, sex, alcohol, greed, pride...etc (you get the point). If you're struggling with addiction it's time to wise up. You're not letting God in and that's a problem.

I'm no scientist. I'm just a guy who loves my circle and you (my friend reader) are in my circle.  If these easy tips helps you in any way then it has given my life more purpose.

Share these tips with your friends, family, colleagues... you never know who needs to be reminded that there is hope past addiction.

Thanks for reading,

Ricky

Should I Leave Him?

A friend of mine just texted me for advice.  Her 10+ years of marriage is going through a rough patch and she wanted advice on leaving her husband.  

For obvious reasons, I disapproved of the idea and here’s my reasoning why.

First of all. “Trial separations” are a stupid idea. They are just practice for real separations. Take it from a guy who spent his life "trial separating" from one relationship or another only to find myself lonely, angry and sad. 

Marriages are much different from casual relationships. Marriage is a commitment you make to another person before God and your peers.  Something amazing happens when you make such a commitment. You give people hope. You become an extension of Gods promise that He will never give up on you!

America has become the home of commodities worth buying a selling. This mentality of “I want it. I get it - I don’t want it- I get rid of it” has permeated wall-street and make its way into our cultural beliefs.  We get excited for something and we covet it. We get bored with it and scheme on ways to get rid of it.  I’m in sales. I understand the value of trade. Don’t treat your marriage like a commodity.  I’ve known my Wife for 5 years now and have been married for 3 of those years.  Before her, I was the “Archetype” Bachelor.  The contrast between that life and my current one is sharp.  Marriage life was not an easy transition but I can promise you. It’s worth it. Everyday… even the sucky ones.

If your marriage is struggling right now I definitely suggest going to counseling before it gets worst.  If you can’t afford counseling then I recommend picking up a copy of SYMBIS (Saving your marriage before it starts) by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott.  It’s an excellent resource and a great tool to have around when things are starting to get tight under your roof.

Most people forget that there’s a constant battle raging for your soul; an epic battle that’s been going on since the dawn of humanity. A battle of good versus evil.  God is Good, the Devil is Evil. The description is in the title.  So why would the Devil ignore your marriage? He won’t. Marriage is a God-thing which means it’s on the Devils radar 24/7.

If your marriage is going through a rough patch. Good! That means you’re close to something big. God knows it. The Devils knows it too, but the only difference is… God’s got your back while the Devils trying to throw monkey-wrenches at you. When the Devil throws you monkey-wrenches use them to FIX your situation. It throws off his entire plan to destroy what you’ve got going on.

According to Galatians 5:22-23. God is about love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. The first 4 are internal, the last 5 are external.  If you’re not using these spiritual tools each and every day then your situation will eventually grow ill…and not because you’re turning to the Devil but because you’re running from God. 

My advice to your relationship is show humility, humble yourself and apologize. Especially when you feel that you’ve done nothing wrong.  Apologizing primers the spirit; for conflict resolution.  If it’s hard to apologize that’s even better because if it taste like medicine it’s probably good for you.

I write this stuff to help other people who are going through the same issues. Work, family, relationships; they all bring us great joy and sorrow. My hope is that my little Biblically-inspired tools will help your situation at least 1%. If so, then I feel I’ve done something good in my life. 

Just remember:

Divorce is never an option… in fact, never even mention the D-word to your Spouse.

Show humility and use the fruits of the spirit we learned in Galatians.

Marriage is hard, but it’s worth it. Remember how lonely and empty you felt before it.

And finally…

Never break anyone’s heart. Never! Not for any reason. It’s destructive and unnecessary.    

God Doesn't Care About You?

Have you ever felt that maybe God isn't listening to you? That He's taking some "Time away from you" or that perhaps he's upset with something you've done and is shunning you until he figures out what to do with you...

I've been reminded recently by a good friend of mine Mr Matt Souder of this...

God has been in control of the Universe for a very long time... a VERY long time. To think that He's suddenly decided to "Take a break" is rather human of us. God has never, nor is He, or will He every, be on break.

God is like light. Your situation is like a door. God gives us the free will to either choose to open the door or allow us to remain hidden behind it, isolated. He prefers when we let Him in.

If you're ever feeling like God doesn't care remember the story of the old man and his wife...

They're putting along in their old Chevy and the Wife says "You remember when I used to sit next to you and you'd hold me. Whatever happened to those days"... and the old man replies... I've never moved!

If God feels removed from you life, perhaps its because you've removed Him from yours?

Stay blessed my friends and Thanks for reading,

Rick

When You're Old...

The Christmas Musical is coming up and I've been asked the rehearse the group. We show up early. Run the tunes. Run them again then go home.  Easy peasy japanesey but the best part about the evenings (for me) are the conversations that happen 15 minutes before and after the rehearsals.

Lately I've been hanging out with our lead trumpet players Paul and Bob. These wise "old" guys have proven to be quite and inspiration for me.  They regale me with stories of life in the old days, before face-tubing and skype-tweeting. Well, this evening I mentioned how (as I'm getting older) time has become more valuable to me than wealth.

"You're right", Paul said, "When you're young. You sacrifice health for wealth and When you're old. You sacrifice wealth for health".

The older we get, the more we wish we would have spent time doing the things we loved in stead of worrying about wealth, building a legacy and social status.

Are you preoccupied with wealth? finances? your job? your grades? if so, then stop. The Bible challenges you in Matthew 6:26 to look around. God takes care of the birds. Aren't you more important to Him than they are?

If you're holding on to worry. Let it go. Give yourself break. Relax and give God more control in your life.

If God is your Co pilot - then you're in the wrong seat!

Thanks for reading,

Rick

BTW eat Tostitos Multigrain Scoops are the best chips in the world. I've just eaten an entire bag! :)

The devil's voice sounds a lot like...Yours?

I was listening to Jon Shabaglian sing this morning and boy was I amazed. His voice was like waves of light, and love crashing against the darkness of my soul. Anger and frustration being replaced by love and peace. My healthy concern for public opinion being undermined by my weak arms and buckling legs. My efforts to remain professional being converted into cool crisp tears streaming from my cold dark eyes. Who cries while wearing a sweater-vest. I guess, I do.

As I was enjoying this amazing moment, a voice in the back of my head began to grow. A familiar voice with an unfamiliar message. Distracting messages of discouragement and insecurity. And then it dawned on me...

The devil is full of tricks. his ability to confuse your voice with his words are just some of the ways he keeps you from fully experiencing Gods grace. Don't fall for it! Yes, we are all unworthy of Gods grace but He gives it to us anyway. Because God is love!  We must not forget that the devils lot in life. His only job is to keep you from fully experiencing Gods grace. God is the King of all things good and the devil is the jester of all things evil.

As an "inner-antagonist" the devil will try to convince you that God finds you unworthy, insignificant, unqualified, unloved and lacking purpose. It's a lie. God loves you just the way you are and it's because of your shortcomings that you will spend an eternity in His kingdom. God doesn't want perfect people. He wants pure hearts. The devil wants nothing more than to take your place in Gods kingdom.  Refuse the swap!

The Bible says in James 4: 7-8 to "Submit yourselves to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you" What does this mean?

It means, the devil is a patient liar. When he fills your head with negative things, that's your sign to run directly to God for help. Stay strong my people and spread the word.

This was a complicated message with lots of revisions. I hope you understood it.


Thank you for reading,

Rick

What's the Point?

I get up everyday. Grab my cell phone to check my Facebook page, make a pot of coffee. Crack open the laptop and get to work.  Some days I'll even get 50 push-ups in but most days it's a downhill ride from my pillow to my office.

I've become a wealth-building drone.

Has my existence on this planet been boiled down to one thing. Paying the bills? Is that all I'm good for now-a-days?

There's gotta be a bigger purpose for my existence.  Jeremiah 29:11 says that God has a plan for my life. A plan to lift me up and give me strength.  It suggest that God has a bigger purpose for my life than I do.

If I died today. Would they say "Wow. That guy really paid the rent"?

I need to make an effort to bring more purpose to my daily routine.  What's the point - if there's no purpose?

When I get up. I need to check in with God before checking in with Facebook. I'm still gonna make my pot of coffee (so Shut-up) but I need to crack open my Bible before cracking open my laptop.

Easier said than done, right?

We find time to do the other things. Perhaps one day we'll find time to do the right things?

Have you become a rent-paying drone as well?

What simple change can you do to bring more purpose to your life (specifically before you leave the house)

Thanks for reading,

Rick  

Balance. Your Will v His

People who say "I'm just going to let God handle that situation" or "I'll pray for that" often experience the same frustration as those who try to handle the situation by themselves (without Gods help). I believe both scenarios produce the same frustrating outcomes.

Rule #1. You can't do anything (good) in this world without Gods help.
Rule #2. God can't do much without yours.

The Bible says in James 2:14 that Faith without works is dead.What does this mean?

Having faith that God will heal your situation is only part of the equation. God has used people all throughout history to heal situations. People like you and me. You can't accomplish the sum if you take either part out of the equation. God + You = Perfect.

Those of you who know me know that I am a very ambitious (and quite handsome) person; however, ambition has it's price. Being overly ambitious can often times separate us from God vision of who He wants us to be. When I remove God from my decisions I do so because I feel it would expedite the decision making process and hopefully lead to outcomes I can control better. I can tell you; however, when I remove God from the equation. The outcome is never as good as I would have hoped it to be.  The only good things that have ever happened in my life were those where God and I worked together in unison and harmony.

Which end of the spectrum do you find yourself falling in? One where you remove yourself from the situation or the one where you remove God from the situation?

How is that working for you?

Thanks for reading,

Rick